I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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