last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize