My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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