just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize