I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
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Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize