Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
there is glitter all over my balls
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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