Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize