ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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