But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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