Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
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She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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