you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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