I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize