pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize