Banned from zoo.
Again?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize