I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize