week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize