I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize