that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
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Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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