she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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