Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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