all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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