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I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
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