I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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