6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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