Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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