my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just cropdusted the office
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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