I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize