I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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