he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
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some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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