Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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