please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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