Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
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