omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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