At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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