in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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