Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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