the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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