i think my mom watched the whole time
barbara walters just said penis...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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