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She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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