I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize