i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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