just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
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she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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