My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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