Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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