WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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