Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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