when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
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I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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