Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize