after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize