morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
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I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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